My mind and body don’t work well together. My mind is like the mothership; its need to think sucks all the energy out of the other systems. It has priority. It shuts down every other signal so it has total power.

When it has taken all the power, the mind devours information. It has light lasers that scan text and turn it into a thousand million signals that fire messages out to the perimeter. It’s pretty.

It’s not aware of the fact that there is hunger in the system. It doesn’t care that somewhere a signal is being sent that the body needs to urinate. It feels the fact that it is overheated but it doesn’t stop to examine why. It doesn’t want to pay attention to moving the mouth and making words come out.

Stop bothering it. Stop boring it. It doesn’t want to be pinged by those needs. It’s THINKING.

There is no breaking its control. There is just waiting.

When the window comes and there is the reminder that muscles are needing attention, that physical health matters, it is hard work to put pressure on the mothership to steer some attention over here.

Look, there’s a body.

Feel, it’s your body.

It takes time. And patience. And habituation.

But here is the body. And to keep the focus here, I will have to find a way to feel the body HARD so I can spend some time attending to it.

I will have to lift HEAVY weight. I will need to run LONG distances. I will need to do more and go harder so it’s not as easy to ignore the sensations in the body.

It feels good to feel the quads at capacity. It feels good for sweat to drip from the arms.

But it’s not sustainable.

Because the mothership grows restless.



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